Ten Hooker Commandments

I know it doesn’t seem likely, but I am a big fan of hip-hop and rap. All the way from LL Cool J  before he went to NCIS Los Angeles and before Ice T joined Law and Order. And a track I have always loved is 10 Crack Commandment by Biggie. So, I have I have done an homage to it (butchered it really) by making it specific to me industry – escort agencies and hookers.

It’s the ten pro commandments, what?
Hooker can’t tell me nothing about this cock
Can’t tell me nothing about this dick, this need, my hustlin’ hookers
Hookers on the corner I ain’t forget you hookers, my triple beam hookers

I’ve been in this game for years, it made me an animal
It’s rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual
A step-by-step booklet for you to get
Your game on track, not your wig pushed back
Rule Number Uno, never let no one know
How much dough you hold cause you know
The cheddar breed jealousy ‘specially
If that man fucked up, get yo’ ass stuck up
Number 2, never let ’em know your next move
Don’t you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence?
Take it from your highness
I done squeezed mad clips at these cats for their girls and pimps
Number 3, never trust no-bo-dy
Your moms’ll set that ass up, properly gassed up
Hoodied and masked up, shit, for that fast buck
She be laying in the bushes to light that ass up
Number 4, I know you heard this before
Never cream pie on your own supply
Number 5, never sell no cock where you rest at
I don’t care if they want a wank, tell ’em bounce!
Number 6, that goddamn credit? Dead it
You think a cockhead paying you back, shit forget it!
7, this rule is so underrated
Keep your family and business completely separated
Money and blood don’t mix like 2 dicks and no bitch
Find yourself in serious shit
Number 8, never keep no weight on you!
Them cats that squeeze your guns can hold jums too
Number 9 shoulda been Number 1 to me,
If you ain’t gettin’ bagged stay the fuck from police
If hookers think you snitchin’ they ain’t trying to listen
They be sittin’ in your kitchen, waiting to start hittin’
Number 10, a strong word called buying backlinks
Strictly for live men, not for freshmen
If you ain’t got the cheddar, say “hell no!”
‘Cause they gon’ want they money rain sleet hail snow
Follow these rules you’ll have mad bread to break up
If not, 24 years on the wake up
Slug hit your temple, watch your frame shake up
Caretaker did your makeup, when you passed
Your girl fucked my man Jake up, heard in three weeks
She sniffed a whole half of cake up
Heard she suck a good dick, and can start a new site up
Gotta go gotta go, more pies to bake up, word up

With apologies to the Original Songwriters: Christopher E Martin / Khary Turner / Khary Kimani Turner

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Molly’s Game & Being In The Game

Let me out this as simply as possible. If you have not yet seen “Molly´s Game”, written and directed by Aaron Sorkin and starring Idris Elba and Jessica Chastain, get moving to your local cinema. It is truly amazing. With Aaron Sorkin writing, the dialogue is fast, witty, thoughtful and intelligent. And with actors like Elba and Chastain, the delivery is worthy of the script and the acting levels are top notch. It is the story of Molly Bloom, a former Olympic level skier who finds herself helping out running poker games – first in Los Angeles with Hollwood celebrities (it is easy to find out who some of the real people were, so let me save you the time – Tobey Maguire, Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio, Rick Salomon, Nelly and others) then in New York with Wall Street traders, hedge fund managers, property developers and – eventually – Russian mobsters. Which is where her troubles come from.

sexy white dress deep v cut on madrid escort with brown hairWatching for me came with an extra edge of interest, because it has so many parallels with my business in the sex industry. At one point one of her lawyers (an ass hole before she works with Idris Elba) makes the statement “Do not break the law while you are breaking the law.” She asks him whether she has been breaking the law and he tells her that she has not. “But still, do not break the law while you are breaking the law. And that has always been my philosophy too while running my escort agencies, whether in London or anywhere else. Though I do not think I have ever expressed it that neatly. In the movie, Molly runs a poker game, which is not itself illegal as long as she does make money directly from the game itself, but from tips or entry fees. But she makes sure that she does not sell sex (oh the hypocrisy of America!) or drugs. And she is a registered business and pays her taxes.

In the same way, in my businesses I never sell drugs, I only work with girls who are legal to work in the relevant country, and I never, ever, work with an escort who is under eighteen. I prefer them to be over twenty one. I also make a point of having a legally established business structure and paying my taxes. I cannot control what my subcontractors do, of course. But I can make damn sure that I do not break the law while I am breaking the law. Especially as I am not breaking the law in the first place.

Escorting in Tenerife

Working as a professional high class escort in the Canary Islands, and Tenerife especially, is pretty much an all year round activity. Which is not true of the profession in most places other than the big cities such as Barcelona and Madrid in Spain, London, Milan, Paris, Brussels and Milan. Ibiza is terrific during the summer, as is Cannes and St Tropez. Zurich and Geneva can be great all year businesses if you speak Russian, but otherwise they are more winter markets. But the Canary islands generally, and most specifically Tenerife and Gran Canaria are terrific markets all year round. Their location near north Africa means that they have year round sunshine. The winter is warm and idyllic, but being islands mean that they are not too horrifically hot during the summer.

escort tenerife in black and white silk slipMy life as an escort in Tenerife is pretty much like work as an escort anywhere, except that there is less competition, crappier weather, and far less dramatic and beautiful landscape to admire and relax in. I only recently worked out why there is less competition here than in somewhere like Marbella. Because I am perfectly happy travelling and have spent a lot of my career travelling world-wide as a high class companion it did not ever occur to me that the three or four hour flight to the Canary Islands would put escort girls off. Surely if clients will travel to these beautiful islands then the sex workers will follow them? The bar staff, hotel workers and restaurant staff do. But apparently the majority of sex workers are less happy to invest the travel time. And you know what I say? Hooray!

There are lots of clients here throughout the year, but not that many girls. And those girls that are here tend to be working in the brothels. I guess that makes sense if th clients are visiting with their families and need to do an incall instead of having the escort girl come to them. But it does not make sense that this is the only option. So there are very few girls like me working hin the Canary Islands, and a lot if clients to go at. Which is terrific. So if the girls want to stay around mainland Europe, God bless them. I am happy for them to carry on here without the competition, thank you very much.

I Am A Happy Mature Hooker

Hello, my name is Modesty and I am a professional sex worker. I have been for nearly twenty years and I really enjoy it. Nobody forced me to start and nobody forces me to carry on. I do not have a drug problem. I am not in major debt. I have not been trafficked or subject to slavery or exploitation by anyone at any time. (Though I understand that under the law in Alaska a person can be accused of trafficking themselves, which beggars belief and make me happy that I only go to America on Holiday!) In fact, I am able to do what I want, where I want, when I want, with whomever I want, for as long as I want. Which most people would regard as the definition of freedom and happiness. And yet people still think I should be pitied. Well, people who either do not know me well, or even do not know me at all.

mature london escort in black silk blouse and long leather pencil skirtMy twenty years as a sex worker have allowed me to raise a family very happily and with no money pressures. Yes my husband knows what I do and he has no problem with it all. And yes, when the kids reach an age where they can have a proper conversation about it (the youngest two are only ten and eleven) my husband and I tell them about it. In fact my oldest, who is twenty, actually helps with my website and social media. As I have got older the niches I have worked in have changed. I started as a high class escort travelling the world in private jets. Now I am a mature escort working in London. It is a nice niche as the clients are (generally) older, and a bit more experienced with escorts. And they also tend to know exactly what they want sexually, which means a lot less mind reading on my part!

My twenty years “on the game” have funded my children through private schools ( actually public schools, who were told that I ran my own marketing business from home. Which was accurate if a little misleading!). They have bought a very nice five bedroom house in the Home Counties of England where we keep horses in our own stables. And I own a portfolio of properties in London and “up north”. Basically, I have not needed to work for years. But the job now is for cash flow while I build wealth for myself and my family.